Trying to fit in. Trying to force my 6 year old son with autism to be like the “normals” (it just sounds better than neuro-typical, don’t you think?) Sssshhh -ing him in McDonalds on a rare occurance that we are brave enough to take him in when he is making his happy sounds…. Wait a minute…..Why exactly is this rare? I’m not embarassed of my child. Hell to the no. Do the gawkers wear me down? Absolutely. But why should we care so much? Why do I want him to conform; to be like everyone else?
He wouldn’t be Timothy if he didn’t make funny, silly, sometimes strange faces…….
He wouldn’t be Timothy if he didn’t make the couch rock back and forth with his happy stimming bounces.
He wouldn’t be Timothy if he didn’t bring me to tears with a single word or gesture that other children his age did years ago. Or at the same time bring me to my knees with sorrow or make my heart full with pride.
He wouldn’t be Timothy without autism. I couldn’t be Timothy’s Mom (who happens to feel pretty damn lucky to have such a cool kid) without autism.
Hang on a second. I probably could. But it wouldn’t feel this amazing.
~This post is dedicated to the memory of Alice Ishkanian. May you RIP.